*Creds to Chesca for the idea!!*
Hello local subje- I mean, hey guys! It's Duchess Bianca Valentina Gascoigne of the Aldan Isles, of course, here for my interview with Vogue! Now firstly, I'd like to clarify that yes.. my lips ARE in fact real and secon- *Whispers* Umm, excuse me?! What do you mean we're doing a Q&A?! *More whispering* Fine! Fine! Let's just get this over with.
*A chic and simplistic Vogue intro plays, much to Bianca's liking of her showing off her pearly whites*.
Q: How are you feeling today?
A: Unamused.
Q: Which sister you prefer?
A: Good question. I loathe Kenzie, however I can't stand Gigi. She's just like a smaller, blonder and more annoying version of mother.
Q: Speaking of which, why do you not like your mother, Duchess Rosali-
A: *Showing Bianca, rolling her chocolate-tinted orbs in a circle whilst interrupting bitterly* Well, let's see. We look similar.. blonde hair, brown eyes, tall, good taste in clothing, bad taste in men.. but that's when the similarities stop. She's a total pain in the ass. She thinks just because I'm the eldest and, arguably, the best looking, that I should follow in her exact footsteps. And I'll never forget how she singlehandedly ruined a years worth of champagne I had stored underneath my canopy bed in our Fifth Avenue penthouse by shipping me off to some smelly, old Swiss boarding school. And she TOTALLY looks down on me for partying! Even though there are actual news reports of her in the 80s, with the most dreadful heap of curls I'd ever seen, hanging around as a groupie with the filthiest heavy metal band of the time, Paws and Roses. And don't get me STARTED on-
Q: Ok, that's enough.. How would you describe yourself in 3 words?
A: Hm.. Attractive, stubborn and charming. *A loud snicker came from the cameraman, with Bianca giving a death glare towards him*.
Q: What does the 'B' in "Queen B" stand for?
A: Bitch. Next question?
Q: How's your relationship with your father?
A: My daddy *DON'T THINK PERVERTEDLY Y'ALL* LOVES me. I'm his favourite! He'd send me care packages every summer from his business trips, whilst the rest of us were on our yacht off the southern coast of Italy! I only see him like, 2-3 times a year. But, I make our time worth while! We talk as often as we can on the phone, and he always says I'm the most conniving person he knows besides himself when making business deals!
Q: Who's your worst enemy?
A: *She thought about the question, weighing the options. Mother.. Lilly.. Gigi.. the annoying cat that lives in the dumpster*. ...Max. He's SO annoying. Firstly, he has NO idea what personal space is. Like, he sits next to me any chance he gets just to bug me with breathing too loudly, or how messy his handwriting is! In fact, I only hang or.. "hung" out with him because he's Chesca's cousin. Secondly, he has no sense of style! Just because it has a big fat LOGO written across the front of it, doesn't make it fashion! Thirdly, it was so RUDE of him to just.. pack up and leave so he could go study at BTL this year! Who does he think he is?! He can't just leave me- I mean.. us.. behind like that! *She worked up a huff, fidgeting in her chair*. Alright, next question.
Q: *The host stares confused at the next question* Why are you scared of Alpha Lisa?
A: Ugh. Well, she's had the worst botox job I've ever seen. Her extensions look like they haven't been straightened since 1977. She reeks a stench of weed, but I'm used to that from Chantelle. She's an old, hippie, witch-doctor that we're all supposed to just.. blindly worship! It's freaky! *A shiver goes down her spine*.
*An hour later*.
Q: Alright Bianca, last question. What's your opinion on Michael Kors acquisition of Versace, for $2.1 billion?
A: ..No comment.
Xoxo, B 💖. |
Comments